As we head into a holiday weekend, I'm struck by how chaos can sometimes be comfort in disguise. Sam enjoying his youngest Grandson on a random holiday. Last week, my father-in-law, Sam, passed away after a long fight with Alzheimer’s. It’s a strange kind of heartbreak — the kind where sadness and relief show up together. Relief that he’s finally at peace. Relief that my wife, my sister-in-law, and my mother-in-law no longer have to brace themselves for his confusion about wh

Notes on fatherhood, time, and getting back to the page. I started this blog back in March as a form of catharsis. A place to process life out loud—both the joyful and the jarring—and maybe offer something that resonates with others navigating their own versions of fatherhood, change, and growth. And just like that, they're in 10th and 12th grade. For the first few months, I stayed consistent. The rhythm of writing grounded me. But somewhere along the way, life picked up spee

Three Stories, One Hope, and the Road Ahead A few years ago, a friend asked how I thought Sarah and I were doing as parents. I remember answering, "I think we're doing okay… but check back in about fifteen years for a more definitive answer."  It seems like yesterday. They were so little. But even at a young age, we stretched to give them freedom to explore. That conversation has stuck with me. It's become a quiet prompt, reminding me to step back now and then and ask, How ar

I came across a LinkedIn post recently that made me pause. The author laid out a framework for thinking about youth sports, dividing them into two categories: pickup  and organized . In their view, the dividing line was attendance, and whether missing a team activity without a clearly justified reason (like a wedding, funeral, or school event) led to consequences. If a player missed a session without consequence, and the absence wasn’t justified by a reason of a “higher order

Mile Markers, Memories, and What Comes Next Last week, our family packed into the car and set out on a road trip, first to Boise, Idaho, then on to Salt Lake City. On paper, it was about soccer and college tours: Rocco competing at the Far West Regionals, Gio guest-playing for his older brother’s team, and a handful of campus visits along the way. But beneath the itinerary, it was something more. What began as a family adventure ultimately offered a glimpse of where the four

I think it was Sam Bidleman, my 8th-grade Computer Science teacher (and one of the most impactful educators I’ve ever known), who first introduced me to Moore’s Law: the idea that the number of transistors on a microchip doubles roughly every two years, effectively doubling computing power. Recently, I came across an Axios article quoting Dario Amodei, CEO of Anthropic , who warns that AI could eliminate up to 50% of entry-level white-collar jobs within the next 1 to 5 years.

This weekend reminded me that growth isn’t linear, presence is enough, and the best thing we can do is give our kids the space to surprise us. This past weekend, I spent my time watching the boys compete in their hometown soccer tournament. Each of them played five games over a three-day stretch. For the first time in thirteen years, I wasn’t in charge of the tournament. And for the first time since 2009, I wasn’t consumed by working it. It felt different; there were no sched

Parenting isn’t about getting every moment right. It’s about what happens after — the pause, the ownership, and the quiet work of showing up better. Giovanni recently got his driver’s permit. This past Sunday, as he was driving the family to dinner (with Rocco and me strategically in the back seat😰), I noticed how many directions my wife and I were throwing at him. As we were getting close to the restaurant, the unsettling sound of screaming sirens from a state police car st

Two milestone moments in one day, a graduation and a wedding. Both held lessons about legacy, letting go, and the echoes we leave behind in the lives we’ve touched, especially our kids. This past Saturday, I attended a high school graduation, and later that day, the wedding of a former player I had the privilege of coaching through her high school years, a player and a family I hold dear. The day was full of metaphors, about time, seasons, chapters, and full of calls toward c

Our roles in life change; they always do. The real question is whether they define us or shape part of who we are. It’s a question I’ve asked myself often over the past few years—an interesting, and at times uncomfortable, paradox. Fortunately, I’ve spent several years working with Aaron Goldman from Playfree Sports , building a mental performance coaching program for the Rogue Valley Timbers. A core part of that program focused on handling pressure in context and, more impor

What a car ride home taught me about being present. This past weekend, Rocco's team played in the Oregon State Cup semifinal. After tying the game midway through the second half, they gave up a heartbreaking late winner on a free kick. Despite leaving their hearts on the field, they came up short. As the referee signaled the end, I noticed Rocco lingering near his goal box, hands on his hips, locked in stillness as the other players shook hands and slowly drifted away. He sto

It’s no accident that emotional intelligence is often derided as “soft.” In a culture that equates vulnerability with defeat, a man who listens deeply, shares emotions, or admits uncertainty risks being labeled less than “manly.”

Their stumbles now are what help them build the resilience they’ll need to thrive later. When Sarah was pregnant with Rocco, I came home one afternoon to find a "must-have" baby catalog on the kitchen table. We'd already ticked off the essentials: Diaper Genie, crib, fancy stroller, plus a half-dozen gadgets I'd never heard of, check, check, check. Then Sarah pointed out the one we'd missed: baby knee pads . "Why on earth do we need those?" I asked, trying to stay polite. Sar

Kids need space to navigate their journeys on the field, in the classroom, and life. After years of coaching others' children, I assumed I'd naturally excel as a sports parent to Rocco and Gio. Yet, I've made my share of mistakes, and continue to learn.​ It was unreasonable of me to expect him to line up every putt. He was too young to really care about the results. I was too caught up in the competition, and I didn't realize it at the time. Just yesterday, while gathering im

I’m not sure exactly where I first came across it, but I recently read that by the time our children turn 12, we’ve already spent 75% of the total time we’ll ever have with them. Fast forward to age 18, and that number grows to 90%. That statistic hit me hard. And when I think about my own two sons, who will turn 17 and 15 in just a few weeks, it sends shivers down my spine. Sarah and I have always aimed to be intentional with our time as a family. Yet, I must admit, there we

So much fun and joy at this age. I remember this like it was yesterday. On April 2nd, I stepped down from my role as the Executive Director of the Rogue Valley Timbers. It was a bittersweet moment, stepping away from something I poured my heart and soul into. Yet, I take immense pride in the foundation we've built, evident every time I drive through town and see fields filled with kids playing soccer, proudly wearing our shield. That pride deepens when I watch my two sons re

I was 25, maybe 26, when I got my first “paid” soccer coaching job. I’d just been hired to take over the boys program at Southern Columbia High School, a small, rural school in Pennsylvania where football was (and still is) king, and soccer was still something of a novelty. The team was heading into its fourth year as a varsity program, and if memory serves, they hadn’t won a single game, or maybe one or two at best. I was young. I was brash. And I thought I had it all figure

Last fall, Sarah and I got to watch Rocco (junior) and Giovanni (freshman) take the field together for the first time. After all these years coaching and parenting, this one just felt special. “There’s a difference between honoring where you come from and being bound by it.”  This night felt like honoring. As I approach my 53rd birthday, I find myself seeing the world with more clarity and optimism than ever before. I only wish it had always felt this way. In the summer of 20